he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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