i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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