the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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