It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
