If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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