After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize