The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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