Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
smell my finger.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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