Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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