She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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