You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
