One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
