I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
