My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
