why didn't you poke me back
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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