We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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