Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
