so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
