On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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