My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize