It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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