if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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