It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
