i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
