Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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