I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
