it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
