just come out here and I will go home with you...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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