exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
