i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
