Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
