I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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