last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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