did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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