he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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