that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
