All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize