So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
