I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
