Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
