She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
