I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
