dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
