About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
