Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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