Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
