I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize