One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
