Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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