Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
