just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
