But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
