I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
