Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize