he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
