So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
