Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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