I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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