So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
