So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
