I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
