I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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