i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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