yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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