I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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