idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
