my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize