Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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