guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i've created a new STD.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
