Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
