I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
