so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
