the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
