Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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