is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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