U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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