The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize