dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
