I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
