I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
