You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
