what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
