We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
